That's How They Get You

A democrat a republican and a hot air balloon

2010-06-23T15:34:46Z

I just caught wind of a short allegorical tale that has been floating around the Internet. From The Political Carnival and the comments of Crooks and Liars it made it's way to my inbox today via Google Buzz. I found it spot on in its depiction of the personalities that define our two major parties. Do you agree? Read on and share your thoughts.

"A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

]]> "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault.""

Asian man's passport photo deemed "too yellow"

2010-06-14T18:35:57Z

I saw this on Failblog today and had to repost. I don't think it's neccessary to point out the irony here. All I can say is, that's how they get you.

Can we please put the word "hater" to rest?

2010-06-10T13:17:15Z

I am really starting to hate ego rap. You know what's worse than ego rap? Ego R&B. And you know the most overused word in ego rap and R&B? Hater.

So this is an open letter to anyone who is still using the word "hater". Knock it off. Especially if you are successful. Knock it off. It was hot for about two seconds many, many years ago. We get it, you made it. "Standing ova" to quote Jay-Z.

A part of being a celebrity is dealing with criticism. Believe it or not, you can be successful, rich and famous, and some people may not think all too highly of you. You can have all the material possessions in the world and a lot of people telling you how awesome you are, but underneath it all you're just like everyone else. Maybe you looked in the mirror one day and said "wow, I am ridiculously good-looking and talented", but some people might not hold the same opinion. They may look at you and see someone who is average in every way. And since today's media society promotes average, it's probably true. In fact, if you are average-with-a-side-of-freak and shamelessly fame-obsessed, you too might be a celebrity.

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Then you come across people who know or have seen other people in their everyday lives that are truly exceptional, creative, beautiful, and amazingly, humble. People who don't directly benefit from your success. They see you and can't help but point out how truly average you are. In my opinion, that's not hate, it's a dose of reality, one which only the uber egotistical can't handle.

For example, I don't think most people say Jay-Z looks like a camel because he's rich, famous and married to Beyonce. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume they say it because that nigga looks like a camel. If you saw him walking down 4th Street and he wasn't a famous rapper, you would say "hey, that dude looks like Joe Camel". That's not hate, it's called observation.

When folks say Janelle Monae should change her clothes, same thing. If someone at your job wore the same outfit every day you would make the same observation.

And people say that Rihanna can't sing, has horrible stage presence and thick thighs because it's true. What's so wrong with that?

Now, am I saying it is necessary to always point out the negative? No... not always. But for some people it is necessary to curb the delusions. I know if I go to a blog post and see 25 comments that Lady Gaga is the greatest artist of the decade and I've seen better entertainers playing for tips at a lounge in Newark, NJ, I am going to point that out. It's funny how keeping it real is now referred to as hate, but I think that speaks to how celebrity-obsessed our culture has become.

All I am saying is, everyone might not think that telephone on your head or those spikes on your jacket look "haute". Not everyone will like or appreciate your "art" or even consider it art. Some people might consider you a bad example if for instance you degrade women, write songs about dealing drugs, do drugs or prance around in your underwear.

Sidenote to all celebrities: I'm getting really tired of the argument that it is not your responsibility to be a good example. Well, it is not if you don't want to make it your responsibility. You can make that personal decision. But accountability is not a personal decision, it is a reality. You can't remove yourself from the images and messages you deliver via media. It is out there and whether you own it or not, you are the source. Parents, children, society as a whole digests these messages and our culture is formed by them. Saying that it is up to the parents is a glib analysis because media messages and how they are received affect us on a societal level, which goes beyond parenting.

If you put yourself in the public eye you tacitly agree to have people analyze and criticize you, even misunderstand or misinterpret you, as well as praise and reward you. You get the good and the bad, so is it not better to handle it all graciously? Or do you honestly expect everyone to think the sun rises and sets with you?

Ultimately, if you are happy to be you, if you have a successful career, if you have a "bad chick" or a nice car and are living your life to the fullest, then grow a pair and stop calling everyone a hater because they don't think you're God's gift to this earth. This is for everyone, celebrities and the people on Facebook and Twitter or in our everyday lives who are famous in their own heads. Be gracious, have some class, expand your horizons and instead of trying to make yourself feel better by calling everyone a hater and dedicating songs to your "haters", listen to them, because they might just bring you back to reality.

I messes with Dirty Money

2010-06-07T16:25:44Z

Just listened to the new Dirty Money track "I Want Ur Love" and I must say, this is actually really good. Great vocals, great production, totally radio-friendly and club-friendly without sounding like every other electro-pop song flooding the airwaves these days. And the Golden Filter's "Favourite Things" sample is brilliant. I have to give it up to Dirty Money for keeping it sexy with this one.

diddy-dirty_money-want_your_love.mp3

As a matter of fact, Dirty Money has yet to release a disappointing track. I personally love Dawn Richard's vocals and think Kalenna has a lot of swag that most people are overlooking. Diddy will always be wackballs to me, but dare I say, he may actually have a hit on his hands with "Last Train to Paris".

]]> Maybe all those "Making The Bands" were just demo sessions for Diddy to create his masterpiece? He kept all the good tracks for himself and left poor Donnie McClurkin, or, what's his name?... Oh! Donnie Klang, that's it... gave him what was left on the cutting room floor for his "Just A Rolling Stone" (I just had to Google the album name because I never heard of it) for his debut.

At any rate, so far so good for Diddy and Dirty Money. I think my favorite thing is that I feel the spirit of Total from the heyday of Bad Boy when I see Dirty Money. And we all know that's when Bad Boy was at its peak of flyness. Maybe I'm showing my age as a 90's baby. But on the real, I might add Last Train to Paris to my Amazon Wishlist if they keep it up.

Why calling your song "rockstar" is lame

2010-05-26T00:19:24Z

Why is it that every time a black artist wants to put whirring guitars in their song they have to go and put "rockstar" in the title? It's a trend that I have noticed for a while and I really wish it would stop. Now to be clear, by no means am I suggesting that an artist has to be confined to one genre based on the color of their skin. Anyone who knows anything about the history of rock and roll music knows that black folks have been a part of the scene since the beginning and in fact, what we call rock music today is mostly derived from jazz and blues and other historically black genres.

Music has evolved by mashing up current genres to form new ones. It took the influence of many different people from different cultures and walks of life to create the umbrella genre that we know as rock today. This process of musical cross breeding never ends and today there is pretty much a genre for every sound and every region. It's no surprise that hip-hop and R&B artists want to explore other genres because hip-hop and R&B are themselves off shoots of historical genres, including rock & roll. But when you use the word rockstar in your songs and then proceeding to parade around like you're are possessed by the spirit of Axl Rose, it is just an unbelievably lame thing to do.
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I'm all for mixing up genres, but it's better if you do it right. Here's a suggestion: learn to actually play an instrument. And don't just learn 2-3 chords like Lil Wayne, that's double lame. Sit down, slow down, practice, get good, then do rock some justice.

That said, here are a few eponymous videos by top hip-hop and R&B "rockstars". I'm not saying that they're all bad, but the overuse of rock and roll stereotypes makes it hard for me to take them seriously. I can't be the only one who feels this way. Feel free to mention other such songs/videos in the comments.

R. Kelly "Rockstar" feat Ludacris and Kid Rock

Rihanna "Rockstar 101"

Chamillionaire feat Lil Wayne "Rockstar"

Janelle Monae Live: Underwhelmed, but I'm still pulling for you

2010-05-20T20:40:44Z

I saw Janelle Monae at Highline Ballroom May 18th. They said doors opened at 8 p.m. but of course in New York City that meant I did not get inside until about 9:15 p.m. after waiting in line since 7:30 p.m. I won't even get into the cold and the rain and the "friends" who popped up at the last minute to cut the line.

Upon entering Highline I was met with a cardboard cutout of Janelle holding a sign that advised we must listen to The Archandroid (that's her upcoming album) from beginning to end to appreciate it fully. There were various other cutouts that may have had other messages, but honestly by then I was tired and just ready for her to do the 2-3 songs I knew and liked so I could get on my merry way.

]]> Luckily it was not so much longer before Janelle and band took the stage in druid-style hooded cloaks. This came after a gentleman with a top hat gave an introduction -- the same guy as in the "Tightrope" video. It was some schpeel in which he told the audience "By now you should've already Tweeted,' and honestly it didn't set the best tone. The word tacky comes to mind.

As soon as Janelle opened her mouth though it was clear insofar as sheer vocal talent, she stands head and shoulders above several more popular black female artists today. But her stage show was so Frankie Lyman and so James Brown that I felt like I was watching a female reproduction of the former artist's works. Not to mention the parts where her vocal riffing was so Lauryn Hill-like that it literally made me uncomfortable. And the random Jemi Hendrix bits. Homage is one thing, but copying other artist's style is cringe-worthy for me. It may work as an album, but I wouldn't recommend taking this show on the road without some serious setlist revisions first.

While she moved from genre to genre deftly, I honestly feel like Janelle's versatility is symptomatic of the fact that Janelle does not have her own musical identity. Or vice versa. The fact is Janelle's voice lends itself beautifully to multiple genres. That, and her penchant for the theatrical, is reason why I think Janelle would be great on Broadway. But as a musician, hearing a vocalist like Janelle -- whose voice while pretty does not offer the same soulfulness of comparable artists, such as Lauryn Hill and Erykah Badu -- jump from genre to genre makes me surmise that what I am really hearing is an artist who has not yet found her own voice or style.

Perhaps this lack of style is also evident in the overuse of the tuxedo. Some people consider it daring and iconic. But when I consider that she takes so much influence from the likes of James Brown and Frankie Lyman I can't overlook the fact that those artists also wore the requisite suite. But it was not nearly as bold a fashion statement for them of course, because they are men.

I also just have to say that the band was less than impressive. The drummer did not keep the tempo, and the guitarist spent an unjustified amount of time doing pinwheels, which was funny because there were few songs that were worthy of all that showboating, not to mention a few occasions where he did not seem to realize his guitar was unplugged.

Although some people want to consider Janelle an icon, I think originality is the foundation of iconography. No matter how creative someone is, if they are not original then I have a hard time taking them seriously as an artist. That's just my personal take on the matter.

Here's a quote from a commenter on another blog regarding the same show:

"Saw her twice already, and she was so coy and pretentious that it sent her actual and undeniable talent into the back seat--nay the trunk--of the lumbering and clunking car that is her somewhat tedious stage show."

Since I did not stay for the after party and have not met Janelle Monae personally, I would not go so far as to call her pretentious. I will agree however, that the show was tedious. I will also say that it's almost ironic the emphasis on the "emotion picture" throughout the show. Because emotion is really the main thing the show was lacking. Janelle sang and danced and sang and danced and sang and danced with high energy the entire way through, and yet, I felt nothing. I really tried to connect, but there was some block. I know others felt the same way. I'm not sure I would call her pretentious. But I will say I truly expected to be enthralled, but rather found myself underwhelmed.

I still think that Janelle's talent is admirable, her songwriting is intelligent and as a personality she represents something different from the norm -- a sexy, strong and sophisticated woman who does not need to flaunt her sexuality in order to get attention. And I think that's great. So all in all, I'm still pulling for Janelle Monae. I might even buy The Archandroid. Because seriously, if I didn't have high expectations for the girl I wouldn't be this critcal.

Four nerds from NYU aim to offer anti-Facebook site

2010-05-14T16:16:17Z

The New York Times published an article Tuesday about 4 NYU students who are developing an online network like Facebook that is called Diaspora.

Diaspora is designed to provide many of the same social networking features offered by Facebook with a focus on user privacy.

Unlike Facebook's centralized network, Diaspora will allow users to set up their own personal servers, called seeds, and create their own hubs so they can fully control the information they share.

Although I find their mission benevolent, I question whether Diaspora will have the same relevance in today's society as Facebook. It's focus on privacy is noble, but the use of jargon like "nodes" and "seeds" and "servers" make me predict Diaspora will plateau as a geek utility at best. Because let's face it, the technology world is full of sophisticated alternatives that fail to have the same cultural relevance as sub par offerings due simply to one factor: marketing.

]]> Marketing is what perpetuates Facebook's growth. Not Facebook marketing itself, of course, but users marketing their selves through Facebook.

There are two types of Facebook users: Those who want to take advantage of the fact that others are sacrificing their privacy, and those who are willing to sacrifice their own privacy in order to feel a part of a large network, with the delusion that they are at the center of attention.

When you add privacy to something like Facebook, namely Diaspora, you change the offering entirely. You actually trade what makes Facebook groundbreaking to reinforce technologies that aren't all that novel when you look at it.

Raphael Sofaer, 19, one of the four NYU students working on Diaspora, said it best "All the little games, the little walls, the little chat, aren't really rare things."

Inasmuch as there are those like the Diaspora team (and myself) who are tired of Facebook handing their personal information over to marketers, we live in a world where everyone is marketing to everyone else. You take away the population of marketers and then what do you have left? A few hundred-thousand people who may actually have friends lists of less than say 20 people whom they actually communicate with regularly and care to share in the day-to-day happenings of their lives.

But those people might as well just pick up the phone, or use a photo sharing site like Flickr that does not collect personal data, or, heaven forbid, use traditional mail to send letters and photos. In other words, do most of these people really need their own node or server?

Maybe, maybe not.

The point is that Facebook is not just about the wall and the chat and the games. It's about following the trend. It's about that human desire to feel a part of a community, and that 21st century self-indugence that causes everyone to believe the world revolves around them. Networks like Facebook reinforce that delusion. Marketers capitalize on it.

What makes Facebook groundbreaking is its implications for marketing. Its growth is perpetuated via the adaptation of Facebook features by publishers, marketers and advertisers. Without the collection of private data, those same entities are gone from the equation.

It's not clear how Diaspora intends to make money. But I'll just end this by pointing out the obvious fact that servers are expensive. Providing users individual servers to share and store personal information aint gonna be free. So if Diaspora sounds good to you, expect to have to pay for it at some point.

Time Magazine names Lady Gaga "Most influential artist"

2010-04-30T16:10:56Z

Time Magazine has named Lady Gaga the most influential artist in the world. And all I can say is, really?

As a musician the subject of Gaga has riled me up for months. I have written about it before and discussed my opinion of her persona, lyrical content and musicianship at length with friends and even strangers. No doubt, many musicians and music fans have done the same. She's a great subject for debate and conversation.

But to say she is influencing anyone except perhaps a handful of current or aspiring pop singers (and a few drag queens) who believe copying her style and persona will allow them to skyrocket their careers in like fashion, is a bit of an exaggeration.

More to the point, I honestly haven't even thought about Gaga in recent months and I get the sense that a lot of people feel the same way.

This is not to say I have any estimation that Gaga will fade into oblivion. But it is to say there's only so long those same tired shock and awe tactics we have all seen before fall flat, and Gaga has to offer something of substance.

]]> From 2009 up until her latest video for the song Telephone featuring Beyonce, I was busy deconstructing Gaga, debating the credibility of her work and her messages, ultimately concluding she was little more than the latest in a long list of flash in the pan, entirely contrived, shallow commercial artists who momentarily capture mainstream attention.

Cut to spring 2010 and I don't bother deconstructing her videos or reading her interviews. I think less and less of her songs, which are unquestionably shallow, despite her indiosyncratic tendency to construct meaning and metaphor for her songs and videos post composition. She's good at finding a smart way to talk about something that is obviously stupid and/or banal.

It's become clear that she is doing nothing original, and the constant allusions to Grace Jones and Andy Warhol among others make her seem more an imitator than a trailblazer. Even her fashion, which used to shock, now seems painfully attention-whoring and honestly embarassing to watch.

I say all this to say, I think Gaga has definitely been the most debatable artist of 2010, but in my opinion to be influential you have to at least be original. Actually, I take that back, you have to at least be authentic. Gaga gives us more of the same tired tricks we've seen in the past and she does this purely because she knows it is commercial, and I really thought everyone knew that by now.

Marina Abramovic's Career Retrospective in Discipline & Vulnerability

2010-04-28T16:36:42Z

Last weekend I finally made it to Marina Abramovic's career retrospective at Moma.

As I walked through the show, vulnerability and objectification were themes that resounded in my mind. So when I read a recent Newsweek article by Jennie Yabroff that characterized the exhibit with words like "discipline", "control" and "edification", it just reminded me of everything I hated about the show.

Yes, discipline is required for the several nude models who sat, stood or lay motionless in recreation of some of Abramovic's most memorable performances. And the museum natzis (security guards) certainly prevented museum goers from a wide range of activities, including standing too close to the models. But inasmuch as discipline was required to view the show, were not the restrictions counter-productive to deconstructing the artist's message?

]]> It is possible that the message was in the juxtaposition of rawness and order, regulation and chaos. But I was expecting a more unadulterated experience pivoting on the realities of existence. Presence, raw and true. And in order to get that experience I needed the museum natzis to back off.

But then again, I was thinking of the Abramovic of Rhythm 0, 1974. The one who tested the limits of the relationship between performer and audience. And of course, that being a different time and place (not the likes of Moma with its guards and thousands of visitors) perhaps my expectations to forge a real emotional connection with the work were too high.

But even as the artist staged her latest installation, entitled The Artist Is Present, for which she sits at a table, not eating, drinking, or speaking all day, every day, for the duration of the show, there were strict rules of interaction. While museumgoers were invited to sit across from Abramovic during her show-long vigil, they were not allowed to make faces at, speak to or touch her.

Still, considering that this was a retrospective, "discipline" "control" and "edification" are themes that seem contrary to the underlying message of Abramovic's body of work. It is clear to me Abramovic's physical demonstrations over the years were in protest to existing conditions. Because her work is all about presence; being in it, feeling it, experiencing it and accepting the raw reality of it, it is all an exercise in vulnerability. Discipline, it seems, is merely a byproduct of performing the same types of exercises over time.

In all honesty, I much preferred viewing the films of Abramovic's earlier works than seeing their recreations. For example, in one performance film Abramovic stands holding a bowl of milk as she meditates. You can see her quiver and the ripples in the milk are apparent. In an earlier performance film, she stands opposite Ulay's arrow pointed at her heart. She holds the string of the bow while Ulay holds the arrow itself. You can sense her fear. And every so often, you see a twitch as if in that instant she imagined Ulay might just let go.

The recreations at Moma featured a bunch of paid models that seemed particular skilled in holding their poses, but not particular aware of the abstract message their presence is intended to convey to the audience.

Now, perhaps this is turning into a psychological analysis rather than an artistic critique, but as a viewer, I felt the retrostpective hinged on objectification. Though some might call it edification using nude models as art, in my opinion, to edify the subjects takes away from the message. To fully experience the nude performers you have to objectify them. Only by objectifying them can you ascertain the abstract idea that the artist presents. The one that may or may not be intentional. The real message.

That said, even Abramovic's actual presence in the building, with all the rules and restrictions, left me somewhat ambivalent. Perhaps that was the artist's intention. Perhaps she wanted the uncomfortableness of raw humanity colliding with learned social norms. That is to say, look briefly at the nudes but not too long, walk between them but do not put your hands on them.

I guess I was expecting the Abramavic of 1974 who would sit passively in a room full of strangers and say do with me what you will.

Last Girls on Earth...Another nail in the coffin?

2010-04-07T12:28:21Z

Every day I read through blogs like Theybf, Necolebitchie, Concreteloop and Perezhilton for the latest gossip. Not for the writing in particular. They all write like shit more or less. But I suppose blogging these days is much more about content than context.

Except for the kid who writes ThatGrapeJuice. He tries to be contextual. Emphasis on tries. It gets lost in his anecdotal knowledge of things and general cattiness. The word glib comes to mind.

While I do believe the editor of Concreteloop has something to offer as a writer, her blog is being overtaken by a conspiracy theorist named Judah, whose uncanny ability to make everyone from Big Boi to the POTUS appear to be an Illuminati disciple has become the main attraction.

But even a conspiracy theorist can offer substantive critique and analysis. And that's important, because these days, bloggers are more concerned with becoming media enterprises, which is the exact opposite of what a blog is supposed to be. So I always advise my friends to look at the comments, because it is in the comments where you get critical analysis, visceral emotional response and the most studied forms of paranoia you'll find anywhere.
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For a different color to my commentary I venture to Perezhilton. His community never fails to disappoint where racism and stereotypes are the measure. For example, a blog post about Barrack Obama and his kin celebrating Easter posted on Concreteloop will garner lots of comments like "Beautiful Family" and "That's My President" - except for Judah, who will make some remark about the POTUS moving his hand in a way that is some covert illuminati signal - while the same posted on Perezhilton will garner comments more like "Socialist" and "Does he ever work?".

So whenever I find a blog topic that seems to garner a pretty wide consensus across all these blogs, I tend to assume that it is a strong indicator of popular opinion. That brings me to the recently announce "Last Girls on Earth Tour" featuring rapper Nikki Minaj, pop singer Ke$ha (pronounced like ketchup with a 'sha') and headlined by none other than Rihanna.

Just to sum it up, based on my review of the comments yesterday I don't think this tour is a great idea. Just saying, a lot of comments asked why anyone would want to see a tour featuring a rapper who can't rap with two singers who can't sing? One commenter said they should change the tour name to "The Talentless Trio". Yet another said call it "Most Talentless Girls on Earth Tour".

You can't underestimate the marketing. The girls are all very popular right now. But what I don't get is: if the popular consensus is that they all suck as artists, why are they the most visible urban female artists out there?

Again, it is a matter of content vs context.

I know that the typical indie stance is to blame the consumers for supporting this kind of music, but now I'm starting to take a different view on that. Because I don't think you can call it support when it's shoved down your throat. I think a lot of people are saying "this is shit and I don't want it."

That doesn't mean you won't watch a music video if a pretty girl is shaking her booty in your face, which a label can profit off of with enough product placement. It doesn't even mean you won't by a ringtone for a few bucks, or a download for a dollar, after you've heard a song 10 times on the way to work and 5 times in the club that night and suddenly your brain triggers and you end up justifying it to your friends with "well...it's catchy".

What it does mean is that the artist's career is not sustainable, and that makes the music industry unsustainable, and that's why it is suffering and only surviving by becoming an industry less focused on music that will sell based on its quality, and more focused on commercial artists who will garner endorsements, jingle makers that they can pad ad support around and shock value for fast monetization.

For a lot of people, their negative reaction to "The Last Girls on Earth Tour" is visceral: They think the artists suck, they don't like the songs, they don't like the voices and they may not even like the way the girls look. But for others, it is contextual. They see this tour as indication of a slippery slope. Another nail in the coffin for good music.

What do you think?

Thank You for Being a Friend

2010-02-02T21:58:20Z

And the award for Crazy Face of the Day goes to: Betty White.

It's well-known that actress Betty White, who played Rose on the hit comedy Golden Girls, has a biting sense of humor. But a recent "get well" card to fellow Golden Girl alum Rue McClanahan shows the actress also has a dark side. Along with flowers, White sent a note that read:

"I hope you die, so I can be the last Golden Girl!"

The note, obviously written in jest, lifted Rue's spirits, as she reportedly loved it. I guess that's what friends are for.

Illness makes teen appear middle-aged

2010-02-02T21:52:15Z

NBC's Stephanie Gosk tells the story of a young teen struggling with lipodystrophy, a genetic disease that makes people look decades older than they are.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Woman stabs boyfriend in back for tuning out American Idol

2010-01-29T22:29:39Z

Have you ever come home from a long hard day of claiming benefits at the unemployment office, settled in at your permanent address at the Empress Motel, turned on the TV to watch your favorite television program and then some jerk comes in the room and changes the channel?

That type of nonsense makes you right 'bout want to stab a person and scald 'em with hot cocoa, don't it?

I think for most people the answer would be, 'uh no'. But not our Crazy-Face of the Day, Cynthia Bettis-Ware, 52, of Florida, who went ape-shit on her boyfriend after he changed the channel from American Idol to some other program to end an argument.

Video after the cut.

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My favorite part of this video is when the news anchor said, "I'm going to assume they had problems before that."

Lol. Astute analysis sir. Astute.

Prena Thomas's Amazing Pet Snowball

2010-01-22T22:22:05Z

Holy tornado! This just in: An old lady in Florida has an old snowball in her freezer!

No seriously, this is news on CNN.com, so it must be important.

Back in 1977, snow hit sunny Lakeland and lucky for the entire WORLD Prena Thomas was there to scoop up a piece of history-in-the-making: a snowball which she has kept in her freezer through the years.

She likes to refer to the icy lump as a pet, proudly showing it to visiting friends and family. It's so amazing, it even survived a house move in 2003, reports say.

I know, you want to see the evidence of this once in a lifetime meteorological event, right? You can barely contain yourself... ehh ehh?

]]> Well, keep your pants on! Or just skip to 1:20.

Post Script, if she is this sentimental about a snowball, I wonder what she will do with her hubby when he passes...

Oh before I forget, (ahem): Prena, for keeping a damn snowball in your freezer for 33 years, I dub thee Crazy Face of the Day. Congratulations, mama! You earned it!

Dating site founder says "No fatties allowed"

2010-01-07T01:48:42Z

In news that is arguably being referred to as news, online playground for the vain and pretty, BeautifulPeople.com has expelled nearly 5,000 users for allegedly gaining weight during the holiday season.

BeautifulPeople.com is an "elite" online dating site with a "strict ban on ugly people." To become a member you must first create a profile and upload photos to be rated by the BeautifulPeople.com community. If enough people rate you beautiful within the first 48 hours, you're in. If not, it's sayonara ugly.

Click through for video.
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As offensive as BeautifulPeople.com sounds, it is actually a smart business model. Niche-based Websites retain users, which means steady revenue from advertisers and paying members. And since we live in a superficial society full of ~~std-ridden assholes~~ good-looking people who want to ~~fuck other good-looking people for sport~~ fraternize exclusively with people having similar lifestyles, I am sure BeautifulPeople.com registrations will skyrocket post CNN coverage.

But one thing does strike me as odd. How do they know the members actually gained weight during the holidays? Is it not possible that some members posted old pictures to begin with, or even photos of other people? The correlation to the holidays is possible, but based on the information provided it's speculative at best. In fact, I'm pretty sure this whole thing is a marketing ploy to generate headlines.

Job well done BeautifulPeople.com. SMH at CNN...once again.